I think Thoughts in Disaray


It is evening, I feel the cold breeze, take a seat in fine sand, throw pebbles into the darkness, the waves thunder at my thoughts.

I cannot sleep, I cannot dream
maybe the Salvatores are better off
maybe emotions should be like switches
click, click
Id only turn them on when its brightest
paradox, I have these circus ride feelings
I’m so in love and then i hate it
My mind is blowing up with day dreaming
you’re the blue to my fosters home, imaginary friend who’s in existence
I can only touch you with my eyes closed
I smell you when the nights cold
work text flirt i keep busy
exercise before you sleep so it come easy
wake up at dawn, you watch a movie
keep busy! LISTEN TO ME! DOnt FAde out…
she would kiss me on the cheek sometimes
snuggle on my chest
rub rub with her palms, raise her leg a little bit
pass my fingers through her hair,
she’d smile and look up at my chin
perfect eyes… perfect smile I’ve missed you snuggling at my chest.

Ive missed you when you were mad, when you’d explode then go all quiet
When you touched your head, said it’s okay, let it all end
even when we knew you lied, even when you knew I lied.

Ive missed telling you everything, it just doesn’t feel the same
when i think, you’re all i think of, so i just don’t think anymore
I cant sleep, I cant dream

All i have are blurred visions,muffled laughter under heiheis
under a cacophony of voices,
i struggle, I struggle so much to make reason out what is my myopic understanding
of what happiness is and how maybe if it is what i felt when you breathed, I can find it maybe again some way, because some days I think I had it, some days it feels a lie
where have I been where am i going, the future feels so far fetched, will lips stretch, do its aerobics, or bend over, hunchbacked under lifes burdens. I end on notes that never end I end on..the third dot.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s